Balancing all of the things I care about without making myself into an unapproachable, stressing grouch takes alot of work. It can appear so simple in theory, but when adding 'human tendencies' to that theory it gets a little frail.
By human tendencies I mean the up hill battle of one's self confidence and self doubts, or bodily exhaustion, or mental exhaustion, and stress of course. The first and foremost of my priorities are my girls. If I am doing great at This and That, it doesn't feel good at all if I don't feel like I am keeping with my self-made values as a mother. Usually this is in the form of not feeling present enough. I think I am less concerned about the fact that they might notice, but more because I want to be able to achieve everything. Who doesn't? But I get frustrated and stressed when I can't do everything without it leaking into and sabotaging the other things I care about. Learning to pick up things then put them down to do the next is a goal. That is also where making rules for myself helps. By rules I mean structuring my laziness allowances, or rather, either convincing myself that I am doing what I want, but at the same time giving myself things to accomplish. ie, sure Lucy, you can chill and watch Netflix tonight on the couch! And as an added treat along with that caramelo chocolate in the fridge, bring along that shit load hand sewing you have to complete this week. As a continued strategy from last year, I have been really forcing myself to notice what is happening with my body. For example, if I am feeling like the little tingles of motivation even though it past 8 o'clock and there is still an unasleep child wriggling around next to me... then listen to it and go with it, even though my brain is saying 'but Lucy, you are just rounding up a 15hr day with two energetic girls, go to sleep or just relaaaaax girl'. Hardly ever will I go to sleep. Often I will make myself sit in an uncomfortable position for the hour or so it takes both of my girls to go with sleep. So that if I can't keep my eyes open, when I doze off, my head will flop and I will jerk awake. Yes I am a big meany to my poor sleepy body.. #howiacheivealonetime I will say this, generally 75% of my evening's carrot-infront-of-the-donkey is chick flicks or similar enticements. I am working to change this, without making the evenings too stressful and tiring. Though as I get more and more days this year of the girls going to kindy and preschool, the dynamics will change. I crave strict hours of daylight to achieve goals, rather then, hey do this sometime here, there and tomorrow between then and after that. Something what helps me if I am feeling quite flat is just acknowledging that and not go beating myself up about it. Then saying, 'Yes I am feeling shitty today, so I will rest, then tomorrow I will do it'. Still always keeping an eye out for that little burst of motivation. I guess when starting up a business with a huge commitment already on your hands, one has to be practical. To the health of everyone involved (in other words, when mums go down, the whole crew go down. I will give credit to the excellent floatation device (daddy) , but everyone does still end up a bit wet and hungry...:) ) I don't want to be a career woman. I want to be a wonderful person, who is a mother, a wife and someone who is achieving whatever she wants to.
1 Comment
Christina
25/2/2017 06:52:09 pm
Now isn't this exiting :)
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AuthorCalming a chaotic mind. Archives
September 2018
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