@findingthegirl for I found Lucy. I used to flourish upon the ideals of a princess. They used to fill my head with dreams and fantasies inspiring what I believed to be my femininity. Presently, the more I learn about myself in everyday and my growing relativity and understanding of the word 'feminism', the more my insides curdle. What I observe in the world and in society, about my girls, women I see and women I know, the more I resent the dream. What was once the foundations of my life and my label are now the main aspects I want it to change. Yes, I want to be a super 'girly', 'feminine', 'delicate', 'sweet', 'romantic' brand and image that represents girls who have those attributes, but without it being a choice between 'strong' and 'gentle'. I want to achieve a face of strength and heroine-ism. Though to be honest, I think there is something better then a heroine, for they seem to be isolated and uniquely celebrated. More like a word that describes a girl/woman/female that covers all the areas of her life, of which she controls. And it be normal, celebrated and acknowledged every day by her self, and everyone around her. A Girlboss. I one day hope and aspire to have the frail damsel be gone from girls, from women and from myself. But I can only grasp the idea momentarily before it slips through my fingers. Why? Because I played with Barbies and watched Disney most of my life. (Yes I understand there is many heroic a woman featured in Disney movies, but the whole point leads to the fact she meets a man right?) I regularly catch myself in huge disappointment when a movie or story doesn’t end with them in love. I also played in the park holding onto the top of the slide with my fingertips while quietly pleading for someone to 'take my hand' 'help me'. And though I don't recall dreaming about my wedding day as a child, I dreamt about a man changing my life after taking me into his arms. Even with odds that I was raised in a single parent lifestyle as a single child. I notice in my marriage how easily I can be disappointed and frustrated, as nothing ever feels like it should be, or could be. Why? Because I have a notion planted in me by society that everything is meant to be a certain way. That life is a drama. When in reality I have the perfect life with perfect children and a perfect husband. Society has made me fail to see what is right in front of my nose as it because it looks a bit different to the movies or books. Having a full understanding that things don't have to be like that, doesn't come naturally. It isn't something that runs through my veins. But at least I feel it in my heart. I imagine the day Disney makes a story of two princesses that rescue each other, or two princes that fall in love. Ha, yes I still raise an eyebrow or two and smirk at the idea. Mostly because I imagine the process of the industry (and children's entertainment) would have to go through to get to that stage, or the fuss that it would cause. Just imagine. Someday. Imagine taking the gender rolls away from the characters in all of our stories that we create, and leave them blank until the casting. Filling them with a character, not a gender. Or colour. My label will be involved in the way that I capture the mood of love and romance and I will leave it open to that possibility. The title of my collection is to be "I Kissed Her Cheek". The other pairing option was "Kissed Cheeks". I chose the one with more emotion provoking personality. And I also chose 'I' instead of 'He'. My label isn't all about 'His' love for this girl, their classic romance and falling of love. It is about how much I as a female can love this 'girl'. How I can feel about a strong girl. A gentle girl. A wild but kind girl. A girl who firstly feels love with her heart and body and not with her head. Maybe the girl I am. Or the girl I know I want to be , or who I want my girls to be. Or who I wish my loved one's could be. I of course considered 'She Kissed Her Cheek'. But I feel like I would be trying to make a point (of a different sort), so instead I give it to you for a moment of thought, as a customer and a woman. My customers are generally female, so when they read 'I', perhaps it will spark an emotion or their imagination, with a blank space rather then programmed, and it will feel personal. A tiny step. Or maybe they will feel it is a lesbian brand. Or maybe they won't notice a thing. Thank you: I am thankful for my childhood, and I am also thankful for the opportunity and challenge to share the things I enjoyed and made me who I am, with a balance of reality. To my girls, who I am doing this all for really. To my friend Tina, whom of which I had a conversation with about some of this content. And to #girlboss not only for existing, but rising in perfect sink of when I needed it to. footnote* Yes I will still love cute and pretty things, and won't ban my girls from wearing pink or sparkles or playing princesses, but I will put effort into teaching them to see the princess as multi faceted and strong. Not just a pretty face and fabulous voice concluding in a happily married ending.
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So here I am, here she is, fresh from the new commencement of round one. And I find myself excited, apprehensive, confused yet confident. All at once. They are somewhat fighting over each other...
The excitement of course for finding a whole collection up in front of me on the wall. And added excitement of successful self analysis concluding that I may perhaps be a little bit on the perfectionist side... But now that I know that I can move forward and keep it in mind when it comes to my decision making. Yes there will always be a better skirt that will come into my mind, but it hasn't yet so perhaps we shall go with this one hey Lucy? I am apprehensive in the way that I have spent, shall we say 8/9 of my initial budget and find myself at the time of looking at the next collection consisting of an entirely new Lookbook and Campaign etc. Which leads naturally to the (brief but effective and somewhat repetitive) feeling of confusion, where I feel unsure as to whether or not its a good idea to keep the ball rolling before sales and profits balance the prior expenses... But that is where I like (and hope) to squash away all three of those annoying and invasive feelings with the fact that I know this is the right path for me. What else am I to do? I know there is a market coming together for I found Lucy. because I know what that market is more than I ever have before. Its just about learning to balance the priorities of branding and actually just pushing for sales and money to come back into the business. Business. This is a business. So I have 5 weeks to bring together the next 10-11 new items into a coherent and aesthetically pleasing collection plus accessories. As well as allowing time for the shoot to happen and be edited etc. All of which is to happen within the budget of $800. Thank heavens I have already got half of the materials needed for the collection. Allowing most of that to go into the Lookbook. I definitely know why people hire interns. Next year's goal, when I have more then one definite work day. As I don't want it taken up with telling and showing someone what to do. There's a hint of a fusspot (cutest word). Exciting things happening! A successful collaboration happened in Florida with Photographer Victoria Zeoli. Another two in the next couple weeks, in New York and other in Cornwall England. Followed up by another in the UK and one even onshore in Byron Bay. Hooray! America and Europe here she comes! X |
AuthorCalming a chaotic mind. Archives
September 2018
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